It took five years of owning an iPhone, but it finally happened. On Monday my phone met a very watery death. And by Tuesday I was back to having thoughts again, like a real person who isn’t addicted to checking their phone.
Tuesday’s thought: why is something awFUL bad, but aweSOME great? If some awe is great, then wouldn’t more awe be even better?? That gem came to me while I was watching the Angry Birds movie. I guess brilliance inspires brilliance. Wednesday’s thought: I love living off the grid! Disconnected from technology! Free 2b me, y’all! Also, why does comfort food have to make pants so uncomfortable? (this is a recurring thought) Thursday’s thought: I’m woefully disconnected. And I’d put the depressed crying emoji in right here if I had the capabilities, but I don’t. Friday morning we went to Walmart and bought a $40 Kyocera. Friday afternoon’s thought: “LORD TAKE ME NOW. I CAN NOT LIVE ANOTHER DAY UNDER SUCH CONDITIONS. LORD, GRANT ME AT LEAST MY APPS BACK. AT LEAST MY AAAAAAAPPS! And this happened while I was trying to figure out the Kyocera. Allow me to paint a mental picture. Pastor Husband was putting up new blinds in the bathroom. I was sitting in the closet because: luxurious carpeting. Each time I press a button on the Kyocera the damb thing vibrates, letting me know I’ve pushed a button and reminding me it’s not my iPhone. PH was keeping it together and wasn’t shaming me with the shame I certainly deserved for acting like a tween who lost her phone. And then I became… unhinged. I cry. I feel the burning ember of frustration in my throat. And the logical part of my brain knows that if this is the biggest problem I have, 99% of the world would want to trade their problems with my problem. And so I cry more, ashamed and embarrassed that I’m crying over a phone. Photo Credit: Joshue Lee Tolle
But here we are on Sunday, and this morning, God spoke. And I wouldn’t have been able to hear Him if I were still addicted to distraction. But since I’d been on distraction detox for almost a week, I’m beginning to be more present with what I’m doing. And this morning my brain could focus on Psalm 78.
God had these words for me and for you before time began. They can be good news for us, or it can be bad news for us. They were, are, and will be true forever.
Psalm 78: 38-39
38 Yet he was merciful;
he forgave their iniquities and did not destroy them.
Time after time he restrained his anger and did not stir up his full wrath.
39 He remembered that they were but flesh,
a passing breeze that does not return.
The good news:
I will not receive the wrath I deserve for being more distraught over my iPhone than over things that are actually truly distressing. Amen, my friend.
The truth is 99% of the world would want to trade their problems with any one of my problems.
The bad news: I am a passing breeze that does not return.
I only have one life, and I don’t want to waste any more days crying over myself and the loss of my comforts and conveniences. I am like a breeze that will blow over this ground, and sometimes this breeze can be a tornado of destruction that is on an unholy warpath. A self-focused, comfort-focused, prosperity-focused warpath. Sure this breeze knows Jesus is Lord so this breeze is getting into heaven, but this breeze will never live beyond her salvation.
The truth is I don’t want to spend this life trying to get my voice heard, my opinion across, trying to get my will done. Praying “Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done” with my lips but in my heart I’ve replaced all the thys with mys. This is a path to a very certain destruction.
The good news: I am a passing breeze that does not return.
I have one life to live, and if I live it correctly, one life is all I will need. I am like a breeze that will blow over this ground, and I want this breeze to bring restoration and the Kingdom.
The truth is that when I close my eyes on earth and open my eyes in heaven, I want to have fallen exhausted at the feet of Jesus, back aching, fingers raw, messy-hair-don’t-care from the hard work of bringing the Kingdom to my context every stinking day of this one wild and precious life.
My prayer for us today:
Friend, you are a breeze that is passing through that will not return. So while we are here, may we have a laser-sharp focus on our purpose. May today we choose to live beyond our salvation and bring the Kingdom to our context. May we engage in the holy life-giving work of restoration and resurrection. Let’s choose to freely forgive and not withhold any good thing. Your life is made up of these small moments.
I am my sister’s keeper. It’s my responsibility to show up for the hurt in our community; may I show up on time. Showing up ushers in the Kingdom.
And today, as you feel the breeze on your skin, on the body that God created uniquely for you, may you be reminded of who you are, Whose you are, and where you are going.