My word, there are so many of us out here. We are those who wait and long and wonder and hope. Along the way we have learned that if we alienate ourselves from each other our path leads to bitterness, but we know that’s not who we are or who we were created to be, and so after I posted my last blog, you reached out and whispered, “me too.”

Tonight I was supposed to speak at our church’s Advent program. My topic was joy, but I am still coming down from the general anesthetic from Monday’s egg retrieval. I can barely keep my puffy eyes open but that’s ok because I think it gives me a sultry vibe. I asked the Pastor Husband if he sees what I see but he has declined to comment. I’m pretty sure he’s diggin’ it though.

This was me, signing my life away before my procedure at the crack of 8:15 AM on Monday. 

And then right after he took my picture, Fertility Doctor Rhee (FDR) walked in and Andrew was able to capture this gem:

And my new goal in life is to someday have someone look at me the way I look at FDR. 

And my hope is that you have someone whose presence brings you as much joy as FDR’s presence brings me.

And it’s so fitting because during Advent, this is when we take time to remember that Jesus came into this world so that we would know joy. A few weeks back, as I was preparing for the Advent testimony I won’t be giving tonight, God gave me new revelation over a verse I’d read many times before. 

Each time we open those thin pages and drink up those red words, may we ask for it to be presented new. Ask the Creator to create a new and deeper understanding. You’ll get what you look for, I promise.

The Background:

The “Christmas Story” as we know it mostly comes from the Gospel of Luke. It has the most detailed account of the birth of Jesus. 

Luke starts even before the birth of Jesus. It starts with Mary’s relative Elizabeth and her husband. They are super old and bummed because they haven’t had kids, but an angel comes to the husband and says, “Don’t be afraid, your prayer has been heard. Your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you are to give him the name John.” 

The Assurance:

Friend, I assure you “your prayer has been heard,” so you don’t be afraid either. And the Book of Revelation assures us that each prayer we pray turns into incense and is kept safely in a golden bowl that burns before God. And the incense burns day and night and surrounds Him with a beautiful aroma. Each prayer becomes a heavenly aroma.

And if that’s not empowering, I don’t know what is. 

And so even before we meet Jesus, we meet his little cousin John who becomes John the Baptist. His role was to prepare people for the coming of Jesus. But that’s not for 30 more years. 

Not too fast though, this part gets really good.

Six months later, an angel comes to Mary and says, “Mary, you have found favor with God. You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give Him the name Jesus. He will be great and will be called Son of the Most High… His Kingdom will never end. Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be barren is in her sixth month.”

She who was said to be barren. God had a date written on his calendar for her all along. They said she was barren. God said, not so fast. God always has the last word on these things.

A few weeks before Easter I was told the only hope for me to conceive was through IVF. Three days before Easter I went in for a last ditch effort laparoscopy and a blahdiblah and a yada yada yada procedure who the heck even knows. And after that, even though the ovulation tests were positive, the pregnancy ones were negative. But God has a plan and I trust it.

So naturally when Mary learns that she’s going to be part of God’s plan and so is Elizabeth, she hurries to her. Because that’s what happens, when we find out we are part of God’s plan, we get moving and get mobilizing. #getitgirl.

As the crow flies, Mary’s home in Nazareth is 90 miles from Elizabeth’s home in Judea. This would have taken her over a week to travel. But she’s got some news to share and some congratulations to give, so she goes.

And when she finally got there and Elizabeth heard her greeting, Baby John B jumped in Elizabeth’s womb. 

Luke 1:42 In a loud voice Elizabeth exclaimed: “Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the child you will bear! … As soon as the sound of your greeting reached my ears, the baby in my womb leaped for joy.”

And maybe Mary put her hands on Elizabeth’s stomach and felt Baby John B move around in response to being in the presence of his Savior in Mary’s womb, and maybe they looked into each other’s eyes and in that moment a host of invisible angels stood around them. God has come to earth in the form of a baby. God has a heart for the barren woman. God saw all along, heard all along, was there all along.

Mary didn’t even need to tell Elizabeth that she was pregnant. And Baby John B leaped for joy because that’s what we do when we recognize we are in the presence of Jesus. There’s an explosion of joy. And when people see our joy, they glimpse our Jesus. 

And that has been stored in my heart for the past few weeks, and I want this historical account to burrow itself into your heart and find a home there so we can always know and never forget: there’s always joy when we are in the presence of Jesus. Even when we are still the barren woman.

And here is some strength for your journey:

Know that each prayer you have prayed is in a golden bowl, in this moment, burning as insence, surrounding the Creator of the world. 

Know that when you are in the presence of Jesus, there’s joy. In our joyless moments, may we know as our prayers are with the Father, He is with us. We can go through hard things and rewrite the narrative. Our infertility or longing for healing or wanting doesn’t need to leave us in a heap on the bathroom floor, though we may sometimes find ourselves there. May our longing leave us in the arms of the Father, the one who calls us precious, beloved, daughter.

And may we run to each other, as Mary to Elizabeth and share in the work that God is doing. In the chaos, in the silence, in the fertility clinic, and in the delivery room. Friend, He still moves mountains.