Friends. This is serious. Two days ago I was MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS when I slipped down the stairs and thought I broke every bone in my body.
We just got new carpet, and it’s super luxurious on the toes. If you have ever come over to my house, you know this because I say, “Check out this new carpet. It’s super luxurious on the toes.”
But the luxurious carpet is so soft yet so slippery. And I slipped down the stairs and I writhed on the landing yelling for the pastor. I think I yelled something like this: “I NEEEEED YOOUUUUU!!!!!! COOOOOME!!! I FELL! AND I THINK I HAVE TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL OW OW OW OW EVERYTHING HURTS AND I’M DYYYYYYYYYYYIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!” (I assure you there was unsavory language mixed in.) And at the time all of that was true. But the pastor took way too long getting to me and by the time he came my bones magically healed and nothing really hurt anymore.
No woman in this world is ever going to fess up to creating a little drama. But me? I heaped drama on drama when I pretended that everything still hurt and that death was imminent. He didn’t buy it.
Breaking a bone would have been less painful than scrolling through Facebook later that day and reading the banter about the Starbucks red cups.
And if you don’t know about the Starbucks red cup fiasco, the Lord has blessed you my child. You may go in peace.
But if you’re on Facebook, you definitely know about the red cup fiasco. It was more embarrassing than falling down the stairs and pretending to be hurt. I saw so many of my people come out of the woodwork to shame anyone who would ever say their name is Merry Christmas. And though these people may have a point, it was lost in the pile of shame that was being hurled.
Last week it was red cups. This week it’s refugees.
In this post I’m not going to do two things:
- I will not tell you if you should give your barista your real name.
- I will not tell you if you should or should not welcome refugees.
This post is a plea for each of us to do our part to remove shame from our community.
Friends, hear my heart on this one. I know your intent is not to shame. I know your aim is not to publicly embarrass anyone and I know you love God. I know you love people and I know that at the root, your hearts are for the marginalized. But there has got to be another way to have our words heard. So please…
Please stop shaming people on Facebook. Stop the passive aggressive posts. Stop qualifying what it means to be Christian. Jesus does that for us in Matthew 25. He doesn’t need you to defend the gospel. He wants you to live it out.
Friends, hear my heart and not my words on this one. Honestly, what non-Chrisitan would look at us and want to join our tribe when we shame each other? We preach love, but this week I couldn’t feel the love over our public shaming.
As a Christian, I have Christian friends and we send Christian emails. What’s a Christian email you ask? One that usually starts with “BLESSINGS!” or “Hello Sisters.” And they usually close with YSIC or YBIC. Your sister/brother in Christ. We love that. We are familial and tribal and I got my people and I’m someone’s sister.
And I am a biological sister as well. I have three brothers and though we may be more different that we are similar, we would never shame each other. Public? Private? Not happening. We don’t do it because we are each other’s people. If I have no people on my team left in the world, I will always have my brothers. I will never shame my family because that community is sacred.
Here’s my decree: May we hold the main things tightly and everything else loosely. May we recognize that when we get to heaven, we may be surprised to see some people there, but they may be just as surprised to turn around and see us.
And if we are going to call each other brother and sister, that means no shame. Not ever. True community, Christ’s church that He died for, His Plan A for redemption in this world, means no shame.
True community happens around dinner tables and over coffee and through shared experience. If you feel the need to correct someone, I urge you to do it in love and only do it in community. May we fulfill the calling to be in community with each other. When I mess up and hurt you, please don’t call me out publicly. Please wear kid gloves and be delicate with my feelings because I’m as sensitive as they come. That’s the type of community I want to be part of.
So should we welcome refugees?
I’m not telling you whether or not you should welcome refugees. The world knows Jesus’s stance, my guess is that He doesn’t need anyone publicly shaming people in His name. You welcome refugees? That’s a relief because refugees are already here.
I assure you that God’s plan is to redeem the refugee. Jesus chose to identify with the refugee so much that when He came to this earth for His short 33 years, He was a refugee when He and His family had to flee to Egypt from Herod.
People will know your heart for the refugees by what you do for them, not by what you post on Facebook.
If you’re looking to get involved with the work God is already doing, and you live in the St. Louis area, I want to point you to Oasis International. They support refugees from all over the world and could always use your time, talent, and treasures. Joani, who runs Oasis with her husband, came and spoke at our church a few weeks back about the work they do to truly welcome refugees. The women in attendance donated over $1,300 to Josephine, a mother of 9 who had just arrived a few months earlier from the Congo. Our women also brought cleaning supplies, food, clothes, and even a crib for Josephine’s baby on the way. I am proud of my community at Dardenne Presbyterian Church for stepping up so powerfully. This is the community I want to be part of.
1 Thes. 5:14-18
14 And we urge you, brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone. 15 Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else.
16 Rejoice always, 17 pray continually, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.